MODERN EDUCATION AND DEVELOPMENT
Выпуск журнала №-26
Часть–1_ Май –2025
39
THE PURSUIT OF PERFECTION: WHY DO WE CRITICIZE
OURSELVES?
Zeboxon Odiljonova Farxod qizi
student of UZSWLU
Annotation: This article explores the reasons behind humanity's critical
attitude towards itself and the pursuit of perfection from psychological, sociological,
and cultural perspectives. The work explains the connection between evolutionary
factors, the influence of modern social networks, and human needs. The author
presents the argument that it is necessary to find a healthy balance between self-
criticism and the pursuit of an ideal.
Keywords: human psychology, pursuit of perfection, self-criticism, self-
awareness, social comparison, societal pressure, healthy thinking, self-compassion.
Zeboxon Odiljonova Farxod qizi
Узбекский государственный университет мировых языков
Стремление к идеалу: почему мы критикуем себя?
Аннотация: В данной статье рассматриваются причины критического
отношения человека к себе и стремления к совершенству с психологической,
социологической и культурной точек зрения. В работе объясняется связь между
эволюционными факторами, влиянием современных социальных сетей и
человеческими потребностями. Автор выдвигает свою позицию, утверждая,
что необходимо найти здоровый баланс между самокритикой и стремлением к
идеалу.
Ключевые слова: психология человека, стремление к идеалу,
самокритика, осознание себя, социальное сравнение, общественное давление,
здоровое мышление, самосострадание.
Ideallikka intilish: nega o‘zimizni tanqid qilamiz?
Zeboxon Odiljonova Farxod qizi
MODERN EDUCATION AND DEVELOPMENT
Выпуск журнала №-26
Часть–1_ Май –2025
40
student of UZSWLU
Annotatsiya: Ushbu maqolada insoniyatning o‘ziga nisbatan tanqidiy
munosabati va mukammallikka intilish sabablari psixologik, sotsiologik hamda
madaniy nuqtai nazardan yoritiladi. Asarda evolyutsion omillar, zamonaviy ijtimoiy
tarmoqlar ta’siri va insoniy ehtiyojlar o‘rtasidagi bog‘liqlik izohlanadi. Muallif o‘z
pozitsiyasini ilgari surib, o‘zini tanqid qilish va idealga intilish o‘rtasidagi sog‘lom
muvozanatni topish zarurligini ilgari suradi.
Kalit so‘zlar :inson psixologiyasi, idealga intilish, o‘zini tanqid qilish, o‘zlikni
anglash, ijtimoiy solishtirish, jamiyat bosimi, sog‘lom tafakkur, o‘ziga rahm-shafqat
Today, humanity demands idealism from itself and others more than ever
before. Every morning, when we wake up, we grab our phones and glance at other
people’s lives: someone has gone on a trip abroad, someone has bought a new car,
someone else has changed their hairstyle and posted a beautiful photo. These are all
ideal images. At that moment, a person starts asking themselves: "Why can’t I do this?"
And at the same time, they begin to search for flaws within themselves.
Why do we constantly criticize ourselves? Why do we strive for perfection?
Does this process bring us success or lead to the loss of our true selves? It is essential
to reflect deeply on these questions.
As psychologists emphasize, the human brain has historically been directed
toward detecting and overcoming danger. This was primarily a mechanism necessary
for survival. In ancient times, humans lived under the threat of wild animals, hunger,
or hostile tribes, so the primary function of the brain was to quickly detect and respond
to any threat. This system has been preserved until today, but now, the enemy is not
wild animals but our thoughts about ourselves, social comparisons, and societal
pressure—"new threats."
The human brain pays more attention to negativity than positivity, which is
natural. Negative signals indicate danger, and by sensing them, we can protect
ourselves. For example, we notice a sad or angry person faster than a happy one,
MODERN EDUCATION AND DEVELOPMENT
Выпуск журнала №-26
Часть–1_ Май –2025
41
because anger can be a threat. This trait has kept us alive through generations, but in
the modern world, we must acknowledge that it often causes harm.
Today, there is no physical danger, but psychological pressure is immense. We
live in constant anxiety by comparing ourselves to others. Someone appears more
beautiful, richer, or happier than us, and instantly, our brain registers this difference as
a "deficiency." This is why a person begins searching for flaws within themselves: in
their appearance, their knowledge, their lifestyle... This forms negative thinking. We
focus not on what we have but on what we lack.
In these situations, a person becomes overly critical of themselves, even cruel.
Compassion for oneself and recognition of one’s achievements take a back seat. The
evolutionary mechanism that was once necessary for survival seems to make us feel
unhappy today. That’s why it’s important to understand this natural state and learn how
to manage it. If we don’t consciously train ourselves to focus on the positive, our brains
will naturally gravitate toward the negative. Ultimately, this increases dissatisfaction
with life.
In this sense, self-criticism can be beneficial, but only if it remains within
reasonable limits. If taken too far, a person may begin to deny their very existence.
Sociologists call this process the "social comparison theory." Proposed by Leon
Festinger in 1954, this theory suggests that humans constantly compare themselves to
others. This leads to self-devaluation in the face of those who are deemed "better" than
oneself.
Today, social networks have become a platform for such comparisons.
Instagram showcases only beautiful photos, TikTok only successful moments... The
difficult parts of life are hidden. People compare their real lives with these idealized
lives and find flaws in themselves. But why? Why can’t they accept themselves as they
are? The biggest reason is that they don’t love themselves and are dissatisfied with the
life they’re living. If we look closely at the world around us, we’ll realize that no one
is ideal, and no one can demand this from us, because the Creator has made us all
unique.
The Pursuit of Perfection—A Desire to Develop or to Destroy Ourselves?
MODERN EDUCATION AND DEVELOPMENT
Выпуск журнала №-26
Часть–1_ Май –2025
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Many experts consider the pursuit of perfection to be a part of the human
psyche. This desire expresses self-awareness, self-improvement, and the pursuit of
dreams. However, this process must be based on healthy foundations.
Ideal images should inspire us, not lead us to despair. Sometimes, a person may
deny their true nature, their life values, in order to become an ideal. Self-loathing and
constant dissatisfaction with oneself become a habit. From this point on, a person starts
to feel "less," "not enough," or "always falling behind." Psychologist Brene Brown
calls this "shame culture." She argues that when a person constantly criticizes
themselves, it negatively impacts not only their psyche but also their social life. They
begin to distance themselves from decision-making, relationships, work, or creativity
because they fear making mistakes. The inner voice always reminds them: "You’re not
ready yet; you don’t deserve this."
Shame is, in fact, one of the heaviest emotional burdens. It leads to not only
mental exhaustion but also a lack of self-confidence, excessive demands on oneself,
inner unrest, and alienation from one’s true self. So what should one do in such a
situation? First and foremost, a person must learn to show compassion toward
themselves. The pursuit of an ideal image isn’t just about physical appearance, wealth,
or a perfect life; it’s, first and foremost, about inner peace, self-awareness, and
appreciating one’s own life path. The ideal is not to resemble others but to live without
losing one’s true self.
In reality, the human desire for perfection is natural. The important thing is that
this desire must be built on self-acceptance. A person who loves and values themselves
strives for perfection in a healthy way. They don’t constantly compare themselves to
others and respect others too. For example, an athlete trains to improve, but they also
appreciate their current achievements. We should be the same. Every person has their
own history, their own strengths, their own dreams, and these are measured not by ideal
images but by the heart.
A person who doesn’t criticize themselves finds it difficult to grow. Every
human being has a natural need for development. To fulfill this need, self-criticism is
necessary. However, the manner in which we criticize ourselves is of great importance.
MODERN EDUCATION AND DEVELOPMENT
Выпуск журнала №-26
Часть–1_ Май –2025
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Being fair in self-criticism, loving ourselves, and working on ourselves—this is the
true pursuit of an ideal. The ideal is not perfection, but authenticity. Authenticity means
accepting ourselves with all our flaws, recognizing them, and striving to improve them
with compassion.
The desire to achieve perfection in our lives is natural and necessary. However,
many people, in the process of achieving this ideal, harshly criticize themselves. The
thought "If I’m not perfect, then I can never succeed" continuously repeats in their
minds. But such thoughts stop us from taking action. Indeed, it’s important to dream
of perfection and strive for it, but we must never forget that behind this desire lies self-
love, self-compassion, and self-appreciation.
The desire to be perfect often leads us to forget about self-love. Criticism is a
necessary process for self-improvement, but it must always be done with kindness,
with compassion for ourselves. Hating ourselves or constantly comparing ourselves
only leads to inner discomfort and dissatisfaction. Self-kindness and self-appreciation
are the foundations needed to find inner peace.
In fact, the ideal doesn’t mean perfection. The ideal is finding our true self,
understanding ourselves completely, and living accordingly. A person’s life isn’t meant
to be perfect but to be authentic. We must appreciate ourselves not only for our flaws
but also for our potential and strength. The ideal person is someone who has accepted
all their unique qualities, loves themselves, and constantly strives for growth.
Therefore, today, at this very moment, say this to yourself:
"I am not perfect. But I am a real person who is working on myself, growing,
feeling, and living. I have flaws, but I am working to improve them. I love myself, I
appreciate my achievements, and I always strive to improve. This is my true ideal."
Thus, the true pursuit of an ideal is accepting ourselves with all our being. We
must not make perfection the ideal but set self-awareness and self-work as our goal.
Every day, by valuing ourselves, learning from our mistakes, and striving for future
opportunities, we will reach the true ideal.
The ideal is not about perfection. The ideal is about being authentic, fully
understanding ourselves, and embracing every day as an opportunity for development.
MODERN EDUCATION AND DEVELOPMENT
Выпуск журнала №-26
Часть–1_ Май –2025
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FOYDALANILGAN ADABIYOTLAR:
1.Baumeister, R. F., & Bushman, B. J. (2017). Social Psychology and Human Nature.
Cengage Learning.
Gilbert, Paul. (2009). The Compassionate Mind. Constable & Robinson Ltd.
2.Festinger, L. (1954). A Theory of Social Comparison Processes. Human Relations.
3.Brown, Brené. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection. Hazelden Publishing.
4.Dasturiy psixologiya. O‘quv qo‘llanma. (2021). O‘zbekiston Milliy universiteti
nashriyoti.
5.O‘rozboeva, G. (2020). Zamonaviy psixologiyaga kirish. Toshkent: Yangi asr avlodi.
6. Seligman, M. (2006). Authentic Happiness. Free Press.
7. Anarkulova, Z. ., & Ahmadjonova, M. (2024). THE IMPORTANCE OF PAPER IN
WATERCOLOR PAINTING.
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