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UDK:316.64
National University of Uzbekistan named after Mirzo Ulugbek
faculty of social sciences, psychology (by types of activity)
direction 1st year master
Qodirova Ozodaxon Musajon qizi
Phone number: 936463286
Abstract
Dysfunctional families are fertile ground for neglect, abuse, secrecy, addiction,
or denial. In these family systems, children’s emotional needs go unmet because the
parents’ needs take precedence.One or both parents might be suffering from a
substance use disorder, personality disorder, or mood disorder. Sometimes, the adults
in these families have authoritarian “my way or the highway” parenting styles or have
a toxic and abusive relationship with each other.In other cases, parents are emotionally
immature or unavailable—caught up in workaholism, shopaholism, gambling,
overeating, adulterous affairs, or other pursuits.This article shows meaning of title.
Key words:
emotionally unavailable, addicts and enablers,high-conflict and
abusive families
Introduction
No parent is perfect, but in dysfunctional families, the problems in the household
are ignored or denied. Children who dare to raise these issues may be shamed or
punished, leading them to deny their own perceptions of reality and suffer from low
self-worth.Often, the parents in these families expressly forbid children from sharing
these problems with outsiders such as friends, teachers, coaches, counselors, or clergy
members. They might even scapegoat one child to divert attention away from the
troubles in the household. The source of dysfunction in any particular family may
vary,
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but the common thread is that the children who belong to these families suffer.
Deprived of parents who nourish their emotional needs, provide stability, and
acknowledge problems, they struggle to grow into secure adults with high self-
esteem and healthy coping skills.Unsure of how to nurture their relationships with
themselves or to foster healthy relationships with others, they may go on to create a
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dysfunctional family of their own when they have children. It is possible, however, to
break the cycle. Gain a better understanding of dysfunctional families by reviewing
common types of these families, a list of telltale signs, and steps one can take to heal.
Methods
Several techniques are useful in helping family members demonstrate how they
normally deal with situations. Some examples include:Sequencing. Ask questions like
who does what, when? When kids are fighting, what is mother doing?
father?
Hypothetical Questions.
Who would be most likely to stay home if mother got
sick? Which child can you visualize living at home as an adult?
Scaling Reports.
On a
scale of most-least, compare one another in terms of anger, power, neediness,
happiness.
Family Map.
Organize information about the generational development of a
family that reveals the powerful transmission of family rules, roles, and myths (Bowen,
1978).
Reframing.
Describe negative behavior in different ways. Acting out, for
example, can be described as displaced anger from an unresolved family
conflict.
Tracking.
How does a family deal with a problem. “What was it like for you
when. . . ?” rather than “How did you feel when. . . ?” These kinds of questions help
keep the focus on the family rather than on the individual.
Sculpting.
Create a still
picture of the family that symbolizes relationships by having members position one
another physically. This technique helps to cut through intellectualized defenses, and
gets nonverbal members to express themselves.
Eco-Map.
Organize data about the
family’s total environment and their relationship to it.
Paradoxical Intervention.
Instruct a family to do something they don’t expect and observe how the family then
changes by rebellion or noncompliance. This approach is not appropriate in crisis
situations such as violence, grief, or suicide, or for families with minimal resistance. It
is reserved for highly resistant and rigid families and is clearly an advanced therapeutic
skill (Papp, 1981).
Unbalancing
. Support an individual or subsystem at the expense of
others. This modifies family structure and introduces the possibility for alternative
ways of living together.
Results
In many families, parents or caretakers have addictions that they struggle to
manage or are attempting to hide. A parent’s addiction might be an open secret or
extremely obvious because it prevents the individual from keeping a job, fulfilling their
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parental duties, or being a steady and stable presence in the home.The other parent
might be a codependent who covers for the addict, gets the addict out of jams, or
constantly begs the addict to stop using. In essence, the codependent parent spends
more time on the partner’s addiction than on raising children.Neither the sober parent
nor the addicted parent is available to the minors in the home. The children in this
environment learn that it’s okay for a parent’s addiction to take priority over their
needs. This may set the child up for addictions as they age or lead them to seek out
partners with addictive personalities.Many people have no trouble realizing that their
family was dysfunctional, especially if the family problems were overt and they had
the opportunity to spend time with more functional families. But others might find the
level of dysfunction they endured growing up difficult to gauge. After all, every family
has problems.How can people tell if their family wasn’t just imperfect but downright
toxic? Unfortunately, making this call can be even more confusing because
dysfunctional families typically deny issues and punish the members who are willing
to speak up about problems. The gaslighting and disregard for the truth in dysfunctional
families can lead concerned members to think they’re overly sensitive or have
exaggerated the household's troubles.Moreover, children don’t have the life experience
to know what’s normal or abnormal behavior for parents or caretakers. This is why
some people don’t realize how troubled their family of origin was until they spend time
with other families or start one of their own. At that point, they may realize they’d
never treat their children as they were treated growing up.
Discussion
Recognizing that you grew up in a dysfunctional family is an important first step,
but just acknowledging this truth is not enough to stop the pattern. You can work with
a licensed mental healthcare provider or join a support group to help you work through
any unresolved trauma related to your upbringing.Therapy can also teach you how to
use healthy coping skills to regulate uncomfortable emotions rather than develop
addictions or destructive behaviors. A mental healthcare provider can also help you set
boundaries, which you will need if you are still in regular contact with your
dysfunctional family members. Simply doing the opposite of what your caregivers did
can create new and unforeseen problems for your children,
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so if you’d like to pursue
parenthood, make sure the decision is an informed and intentional one.By planning to
become a parent, addressing your past trauma, and developing healthy coping skills,
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you’ll be in a much better position to form secure attachments with your children and
guide them into a healthy adulthood.
References:
1.Lipham, J. M., & Hoeh, J. A. The Principalship: Foundations and Functions.
New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers.
2. Shaw, A., Joseph, S., & Linley, P. A. Religion, spirituality, and posttraumatic
growth: A systematic review.
Mental Health, Religion & Cultu
re, 8(1), 1-11. 1.Lipham,
J. M., & Hoeh, J. A. The Principalship: Foundations and Functions. New York, NY:
HarperCollins Publishers.
2. Shaw, A., Joseph, S., & Linley, P. A. Religion, spirituality, and posttraumatic
growth: A systematic review.
Mental Health, Religion & Cultu
re, 8(1), 1-11.
