International Journal Of Literature And Languages
59
https://theusajournals.com/index.php/ijll
VOLUME
Vol.05 Issue07 2025
PAGE NO.
59-63
10.37547/ijll/Volume05Issue07-16
A Critical Discourse Analysis of Blackmail in Some
Selected Songs
Asst. Lect. Nahla Mahmoud Hadi
University of Babylon, College of Education for Human Sciences, Department of English, Iraq
Asst.Prof.Dr.Wafaa Mokhlos Faisal
University of Babylon, College of Education for Human Sciences, Department of English, Iraq
Received:
22 May 2025;
Accepted:
18 June 2025;
Published:
20 July 2025
Abstract:
The present study critically aims at highlighting the emotional blackmailers’ social power in the genre of
songs. The qualitative an
d quantative methods are adopted so as to analyze three songs; namely, Don’t Leave Me,
If You Leave Me, I’ll… and Stay With Me. The findings prove that the tantalizer and the sufferer types of emotional
blackmails are frequently employed to arrive at the percentages (60%) and (40%) respectively, whereas the
pressure and the demand elements of emotional blackmails are mostly with the percentages (40%) and (30%)
respectively. The main conclusion is that the tantalizer type and the pressure element are appropriate types to
achieve emotional blackmails.
Keywords:
CDA, social power, emotional blackmail, tantalizer and pressure.
Introduction:
Critical discourse analysis is defined as ‘a
type of discourse analytical research that primarily
studies the way social power, abuse, dominance and
inequalities are enacted, reproduced and resisted by
text and talk in the social and political context’ for the
sake of revealing and resisting social injustice. The
emergence of critical methods is attributed to the new
orientation of analysis that of the critical linguistics in
1970s. The main focus of critical linguistics is to
highlight the intertwined relationships between
language and ideology. As such, one of the methods of
critical discourse analysis is to show how singers’ social
power is enacted and (re)produced when using
emotional blackmails.
The latter concept is coined by the psychologist Susan
Forward (1997) in her book Emotional Blackmail: When
the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt
to Manipulate You. Hence, Forward’s (1997) refers to
the kind of behaviour by which emotional blackmailers
try to control other’s behaviours through emotions.
She classifies emotional blackmails into four types:
punisher, self-punisher, sufferer and tantalizer; and six
elements: demand, resistance, pressure, threat,
compliance and repetition. 2 Accordingly, the present
study attempts to answer the following questions:
1. What is meant by emotional blackmail?
2. What are the types and elements of emotional
blackmail? And which ones are dominantly used in the
genre of songs?
3. How do singers’ so
cial powers are revealed through
employing the emotional blackmail with regard to
critical discourse analysis?
LITERATURE REVIEW
Critical Discourse Analysis (henceforth CDA) is a branch
of discourse studies that investigates the role of
language in the reproduction of power, inequality, and
dominance in society. Van Dijk (2001: 352) defines CDA
as “a type of discourse analytical research that
primarily studies the way social power abuse,
dominance and inequality are enacted, reproduced and
resisted by text and talk in the social and political
context.” Similarly, Fairclough (2010: 12) asserts that
CDA is primarily concerned with interpreting how social
practices are constructed and realized through
discourse. Wodak (2001: 9) further emphasizes that
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CDA focuses on how power is created and maintained
through discourse, revealing how dominant social
actors use language to assert control, and how
marginalized groups may resist such control. In this
sense, CDA does not merely describe language use but
critically engages with how discourse structures shape,
reinforce, or challenge social power relations.
Additionally, Fowler et al. (1979: 3) argue that CDA
serves as an analytical tool for uncovering hidden
ideologies embedded in discourse, particularly those
that may appear neutral or objective on the surface
but, in fact, reflect and support dominant social
interests.
Central to CDA is the concept of power. Power is not
only a matter of overt coercion but is often exercised
through subtle discursive means. Fairclough (1989: 43
–
45) defines power as a social property that emerges in
relationships among individuals and groups within
speech communities. It allows members of dominant
groups to control the discourse and behavior of others,
often through institutional access to resources such as
media, education, and political structures. Van Dijk
(1996: 84) expands on this by stating that social power
involves the ability to influence others’ actions and
beliefs
—
whether through verbal or non-verbal means.
This influence results in a societal division between
dominant (higher) groups and subordinate (lower)
groups. The former hold privileged access to platforms
of communication and decision-making, enabling them
to shape ideologies and maintain control over the
latter. In this context, CDA is employed to expose how
such asymmetrical power relations are normalized and
perpetuated through language, thus providing a
framework for understanding how discourse both
reflects and constructs social realities.
1 Emotional Blackmails
The coinage of the term of emotional blackmail is
attributed to the therapist, author, and lecturer Dr.
Susan Forward (1997) in her book Emotional Blackmail:
When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and
Guilt to Manipulate You. Emotional blackmails,
according to Forward (1997: 1-2), refers to a type of
manipulated behavior where by feelings and emotions
are controlled by others so as to make someone
behaves in accordance with their wants. In other
words, achieving others’ needs and aims requir
es them
to utter a linguistic and/or non linguistic behavior for
the sake of persuading and controlling a person’s felling
and emotions, and, thus, that person will abnormally
behave. Emotional blackmail is also defined as ‘ a term
used to describe a manipulative style where a person
tries to get their way by using your emotions and to
control your behavior. The individual may also try to
persuade you with emotional blackmailing to see things
their way’. Beside it is also mentioned that emotional
blackmail
is not a good way to ask or control others’
behavior. Instead, speakers must try to compromise
and respect the ways things are (web source 1). For
Karnani and Zelman (2019 (2019: 165), emotional
blackmail refers to ‘ a form of repetitive emotional
manipulation in which to exact compliance, a
perpetrator threatens to hurt or abandon a person
close to him or her, by inducing fear, obligation or guilt’.
Further, emotional blackmailers’ behaviours are
categorised into three; namely, clear (I. e, in this
categor
y, the emotional blackmailers’ behaviours are
clear and unambiguous when threatening), mixed (i.e.,
in this category, the emotional 4 blackmailers’
behaviours are mixed, that is, different behaviours are
acted, when threatening) and forceful (i.e., in this
category, the emotional blackmailers’ behaviours are
direct and forceful when threatening (Ibid:1997, 3)
1. 1 Elements of Emotional Blackmail
According to Forward (1997: 4-6), emotional blackmail
is achieved due to six elements: demand, resistance,
pressure, threats, compliance and repetition. Firstly,
the demand element of emotional blackmail is
achieved when someone directly or indirectly asks
someone else (depend on the kind of relationship) to
accept, act in accordance with his will. Forward’s
example illustrates that Jim demands Helen, his
beloved, to move to her apartment so as to live
together. Secondly, the resistance element is fulfilled
when someone expresses his unwillingness and
resistance against another person’s demand. Hence,
Helen expre
sses her refusal and unwillingness to Jim’s
demand that of moving to live with her. Thirdly, the
emotional blackmail of pressure element is
accomplished when a person uses a behaviour so as to
get a response to his demands from another person. In
Forward’s
example, Jim uses the emotional blackmail
of pressure for the sake of pushing Helen to change her
mind, and, thus, accept letting Jim to live with her.
Fourthly, the emotional blackmail of threats element is
exploited when a person does not get his wants, and,
accordingly, begins behaving to threat the other person
by threating him/her of the future consequences. With
regard to Forward’s example of Jim and Helen, the
former starts threating her by saying he will leave her,
her refusal will harm him and the like. Fifthly, the
emotional blackmail of compliance is achieved when a
person realises that he/she will lose the other person.
In other words, it is understood that it is wrong to resist
denying the other person’s wants or demands, the
element of 5 compliance is launched. Hence, Helen
realises that she and her beloved’s matters are
superficially discussed and their relationships become
not like the past, thus, she accepts letting Jim to move
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International Journal Of Literature And Languages (ISSN: 2771-2834)
and live with her, with regard to Forward’s demands.
Finally, the emotional blackmail of repetition element
is employed when a person sees that threating and
pressuring the other person’s behaviours is the only
way to get his demands. In relation to Forward’s
example, Jim uses this element to get his wants since
he shows Helen the value of being together.
1. 2 Types of Emotional Blackmails
Due to its various manipulative elements, emotional
blackmails are categorised into four types, according to
Forward (1997: 18-38):
1.
Punishers: this type is fulfilled when a person
pushes so as to make his needs accomplished from the
other person. In doing so, the former will employ
threats and pressure as possible as he can for the sake
of getting his demands.
2.
Self-punishers: people of this type will usually
start using expressions or behaviours that indicate self-
harm and threats if the other person does not accept
or resist to the former’s demands.
3.
Sufferers: people become sufferers if they are
the victims of others’ behaviours. That is, if a person
does not comply with his partner, the former will suffer
from the latter’s pressures and threats, as in: “After all
that I’ve done for you, you are going to let me suffer…?”
4.
Tantalizers: this type is regarded the most
manipulative and ambiguous one, since blackmailers
promise the addresses that if they comply, they will
become better. However, the threat and pressure is
still echo in their behaviors.
METHODOLOGY
The present study is limited to the analysis of three
song lyrics, namely: Don’t Leave Me (a Japanese son
g
translated into English) by J. Y. Park, If You Leave Me,
I’ll… by Fonzie, and Stay With Me by Sam Smith. These
songs were purposefully selected from online sources
(see Appendices) based on their thematic relevance to
emotional blackmail. The rationale for choosing these
particular songs is to critically highlight the types and
elements of emotional blackmail, as categorized by
Forward (1997). According to Forward, the types of
emotional blackmail include the Punisher, the Self-
Punisher, the Sufferer, and the Tantalizer. The
elements involved in emotional blackmail encompass
the Demand, the Resistance, the Threats, the Pressure,
the Compliance, and the Repetition. More precisely,
the current study aims to critically examine how
emotional blackmail functions as a form of social power
within the selected lyrics.
1 Data Analysis
Due to Forward’s (1997) model of types and elements
of emotional blackmails, the data are firstly analyzed
and then the results are discussed in this section.
Extract 1
It deepens the more time passes Right now I am in
between your past and future 1 Don’t leave me I
believe, I start running No ending…You are my
heartbeat Even if I’m struck by rain Even if I’m erased
by darkness I will definitely save you You are not alone
(Don’t Le
ave Me by J. Y. Park, web source 2)
In extract, the singer employs the emotional blackmail
types of sufferer and tantalizer. The former, on the one
hand, is achieved when the singer mentions that
leaving him will lead him to shadow and no way. He
begs him to stay with her. He threats that her that if she
leaves him he will suffer. Hence, the emotional
blackmail element of threat and pressure is observed
while using the former type of emotional blackmail. On
the other hand, the latter is fulfilled when the singer
says that if she stays with him, he will definitely save
her. Hence, he keeps pressuring and tries to make her
comply to his demands. In doing so, the singer employs
the emotional blackmail elements of pressure and
demand. In relation to CDA, the singer exerts his social
power as being the man, the dominant gender, in
comparison with his love. He use the imperative
structure to reflect the social power, that is, he keeps
using threats and pressures so as to make her comply
and resist with his demands
. Again, the singer’s social
power is revealed via saying that if she stays with him
he will definitely save her.
Extract 2
Wanna tell you that I love you girl I wanna show you all
the things That I can do for you again I never met a girl
like you That turns me on 1I'll be mad If you leave me,
I'll become shorter 8 If you keep me, I'll become a lover
You have to feel what I feel for you I wanna hold your
hand and make you ...Any word, any touch, means A lot
of love for you (If You Leave Me I'll… by Fonzie,
web
source 3)
It is the sufferer and tantalizer types of emotional
blackmails that are used by the singer in extract two.
Firstly, the sufferer type is manifested due to the
singer’s statement that if his love leaves him, he will
become a shorter. That is, her leave will make him die.
Secondly, the tantalizer type is observed owing to the
singer’s statement that if his love keeps him, he will
become a lover. That is, her love gives him the life. As
for the elements of emotional blackmail, it is
authenticated in extract 2 that the singer employs
three ones; namely, the demand, the pressure and the
threat. As such, the singer keeps saying that he loves
her and he is nothing without her, and, thus, he wants
to tell her that he has never met a girl like her and he
will be mad if she leaves him. His insistence to
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International Journal Of Literature And Languages (ISSN: 2771-2834)
demanding, pressuring and threatening so as to get his
wants and, accordingly, the emotional blackmail is
achieved. In relation to the CDA, the use of the social
power of the singer is reflected via using the
constructions 1I'll be mad and 2You have to feel what I
feel for you. The singer’s social power echo via using
the threats and pressure so as to persuade her and
make her to behave in accordance with his will.
Extract 3
Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one-night stand But I
still need love 'cause I'm just a man These nights never
seem to go to plan I don't want you to leave, will you
hold my hand? Oh, won't you stay with me?1 'Cause
you're all I need 2This ain't love, it's clear to see But,
darling, stay with me Why am I so emotional? No, it's
not a good look, gain some self-control And deep down
I know this never works But you can lay with me so it
doesn't hurt Oh, won't you stay with me? 'Cause you're
all I need This ain't love, it's clear to see But, darling,
stay with me Oh, won't you stay with me? 'Cause you're
all I need This ain't love, it's clear to see But, darling,
stay with me Oh, won't you stay with me? 'Cause you're
all I need this ain't love, it's clear to see But, darling,
stay with me (Stay with Me by Sam Smith, Web source
4)
Using the emotional blackmail type of tantalizer is
exploited by the singer in extract 3. The reason behind
doing so is that the speaker tries to make her girl to
comply with his wants. That is, the singer wants to
control his
girl’s behavior for the sake of making her
accepting to stay with him. He employs the expressions
stay with me, you’re all I need and I don’t want you to
leave to reflect the emotional blackmail of tantalizer.
The demand, repetition, pressure elements of
emotional blackmail are fulfilled in extract 3. During the
whole song, the singer keeps pressuring, demanding
and repeating that she represents his life, and her
departure will cause a problem to him, and, thus, he
keeps saying stay with me, you are all I n
eed and I don’t
want you to leave. As for the CDA, it is observed that
singer’s social power is revealed in extract 3. The
constructions ‘Cause you're all I need’ and ‘This ain't
love, it's clear to see’ represent that social power
through which the singer tries to control and dominate
his girl’s behaviors.
Table 1
The Use of Emotional Blackmails in the Three Songs
Emotional Blackmails
Types
Elements
Name
Freq.
Per.
Name
Freq.
Per.
Punisher
0
0
Demand
3
30
Self-punisher
0
0
Resistance
0
0
Sufferer
2
40
Pressure
4
40
Tantalizer
3
60
Threat
2
20
Compliance
0
0
Repetition
1
10
total
5
100%
total
10
100%
With regard to the types of emotional blackmail, it is
authenticated in Table 1 that the priority is given the
tantalizer type in comparison and followed by the
sufferer type with the percentages that amount to
(60%) and (40%) respectively. However, the punisher
and self-punisher are not employed in the three songs
and record the percentage (0%) for each. As for the
elements of emotional blackmails, it is found in Table 1
that the repetition, threat, demand and pressure get
approximate percentages that amount to (10%), (20%),
(30%) and (40%) respectively, whereas the compliance
element gets the percentage (0%). As such, the gradual
order indicates that the emphasis is given to the
pressure and demand elements.
CONCLUSIONS
The presents study arrives at the following:
1.
Critical discourse analysis aims at highlighting
the equalities, power abuse and ideological differences
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International Journal Of Literature And Languages (ISSN: 2771-2834)
that are embodied in discourse.
2.
Emotional blackmail is a term that is firstly used
by Forward in 1997 to refer to the kind of behavior that
is aimed at controlling other’s decisions and actions so
as to achieve their demands. 3. Emotional blackmails
are divided into four types; namely, the punisher, the
self-punisher, the sufferer and the tantalizer. It is found
that the most dominant types in the selected genre are
the emotional blackmail of tantalizer and followed by
the emotional blackmail of sufferer. Besides, the
elements of emotional blackmails are categorized into
six elements: the demand, the resistance, the pressure,
the threat, the compliance and the repetition. The
frequent elements that are used to achieve the
emotional blackmail are the pressure and followed by
the demand.
3.
As for the emotional blackmail types, the
results of Table 1 shows that the emotional blackmail is
frequently fulfilled via using the tantalizer and sufferer
types. The justification for this conclusion is that they
get the higher percentages that amount to (60%) and
(40%) respectively. However, the emotional of
blackmail is not used when employing the punisher and
self-punisher types since both of the types record the
percentage (0%).
4.
As far as the elements of emotional blackmail,
table 1 manifests that it is the element of pressure that
is highly employed and followed by that of demand,
threat and then repetition, since the percentages read
as follow: (40%), (30%), (20%) and (10%) respectively.
5.
It is found that the singers’ social power i
s
highly revealed in the three songs. In doing so, the
singers, as men, want to prove that they can control
their lovers’ behaviors through employing the
emotional blackmail.
REFERENCES
Fairclough, N. (1989). Language and power. Longman.
Fairclough, N. (2010). Critical discourse analysis. Taylor
& Francis.
Forward, S. (1997). Emotional blackmail: When the
people in your life use fear, obligation, and guilt to
manipulate you. Harper Collins.
Fowler, R., Hodge, R., Kress, U., & Trew, T. (1979).
Language and control. Routledge and Kegan Paul.
Genius. (2021, November 27). Sam Smith - Stay with me
lyrics.
https://genius.com/Sam-smith-stay-with-me-
Hamilton, D. (Ed.). (n.d.). The handbook of discourse
analysis (pp. 352-372). Blackwell Publishers.
Karnani, S. R., & Zelman, D. C. (2019). Measurement of
emotional blackmail in couple relationships in Hong
Kong. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and
Practice, 8(3), 165
–
180.
Lyrics K-pop. (2021, November 25). BTS - Don't leave
me
English
translation.
https://lyricskpop.net/lyrics/bts-dont-leave-me-
english-translation/
Relationships MDD. (2021, November 20). Emotional
blackmail.
https://relationshipsmdd.com/emotional-
Songsear.ch. (2021, November 25). If you leave me I'll -
Fonzie.
https://songsear.ch/song/Fonzie/If-You-Leave-
Van Dijk, T. (1996). Discourse, power and access. In C.
R. Caldas-Coulthard & M. Coulthard (Eds.), Texts and
practices: Readings in critical discourse analysis (pp. 84-
104). Routledge.
Van Dijk, T. (2001). Critical discourse analysis. In D.
Schiffrin, D. Tannen, & H. E. Hamilton (Eds.), The
handbook of discourse analysis (pp. 352-372).
Blackwell Publishers.
Wodak, R. (2001). The discourse-historical approach. In
R. Wodak & M. Meyer (Eds.), Methods of critical
discourse analysis (pp. 63-95). Sage.
Appendix
https://lyricskpop.net/lyrics/bts-dont-leave-me-
english-translation/ 25/11/2021- 11: 10 a.m.
https://songsear.ch/song/Fonzie/If-You-Leave-Me-
Ill/1919209 25/11/2021- 11: 40 a.m.
https://genius.com/Sam-smith-stay-with-me-lyrics
27/11/2021- 9: 00 a.m.
