INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE
ISSN: 2692-5206, Impact Factor: 12,23
American Academic publishers, volume 05, issue 06,2025
Journal:
https://www.academicpublishers.org/journals/index.php/ijai
page 174
FORMS OF ESTABLISHING AN ADEQUATE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN
PARENTS AND CHILDREN
Dadaboyeva Aziza Nurilla kizi
Tashkent Perfect University,a student of the 2nd stage of
pedagogical and psychological direction
Annotation:
This article describes the form of relationship that parents establish with their child,
pedagogical measures to establish a healthy relationship with the child. The psychological risks
of an unhealthy relationship with a child are analyzed, and the methods used to build a healthy
relationship are shown.
Keywords:
adequate attitude, child mentality, order, discipline, self-doubt, violence, right
language, right action, right opportunity.
Introduction.
The relationship of parents in the family directly affects the development of the
family, the future of children. There will be no development in a family without Tichlik -
harmony. This directly affects the progress of society. So it is difficult to achieve harmony in
the family, the progress of society, without correcting parental relations. We know that in our
society there are a number of functions of the family. One of the most important tasks of the
family is its communicative task. In doing so, the family will have to serve to meet the need of
family members to interact and understand. Communication, on the other hand, is directly
colloquial. According to statistical analysis, most children who are currently exposed to a
suicide with deviant behavior do not have enough family communication. As a result of parents
' indifference, lack of conversation with the child, pedagogical and psychological problems
arise in the child.
Results of studies and their discussion.
The result of statistical analysis shows that children
with strong emotional ties to their parents have high results in social and emotional
development [3]. In order for there to be a strong emotional bond between parent and child, it is
necessary to be adequate in the relationship. What does the “adequate attitude " itself actually
mean? How does adequacy manifest itself? Adequate means-suitable, balanced, appropriate.
Adequate attitude means that it is appropriate, appropriate and correct to respond to a situation
or person. For example, if someone has helped you, you can say thank you – this is an adequate
attitude that means expressing gratitude in response to the good they have done is to react
correctly. What adequate relationship can now be between parent and child? What needs to be
done to form an adequate attitude?
Upbringing is always carried out in accordance with the Times of darcor. The method of
upbringing, which was used fifty years ago, does not give the expected result if today it is fully
applied to its child. It is also necessary to adapt Zero upbringing to its time. The so-called” key
to the door of science“, Hazrat Ali, said in this regard:”it is not according to the teachings of
your time that your children are brought up according to the realities of the times when they
were born " [2]. Such an ekaan foster person should bring up the style of upbringing that he
uses in the upbringing of a child in ways that are relevant to his time instead of the one left over
from his ancestors. Before studying the adequate relationship between parents and children,
INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE
ISSN: 2692-5206, Impact Factor: 12,23
American Academic publishers, volume 05, issue 06,2025
Journal:
https://www.academicpublishers.org/journals/index.php/ijai
page 175
let's look at the inadequate circumstances in upbringing. So what are the methods of non-
adequate upbringing?
Rape-this includes mental abuse , physical abuse, sexual abuse. Mental abuse refers to
threatening, shouting, insulting, criticizing a child. By physical violence, we understand the
likes of beating, Doppelgänging, bodily injury. In the Uzbek people there would be a saying”
the flesh is your bone – ours". But this transplant is losing its influence today. Psychologist-
educators argue that it is difficult to achieve success in education by inflicting violence on a
child. The following problems arise as a result of violence against to child: -the formation of
insecurity, as a result of which it is difficult to find its place in social life; - a slowdown in
spiritual development, a chaos in the emotions of the result, followed by an inability to control
one's own emotional state.
“Why do you abuse a child?", to which most parents respond: “ I am teaching him discipline”.
However, how justified is the use of such a punitive method as violence to discipline a child?
Turkish psychologist Hadicha Kubro defines the purpose of the discipline as: “the original
model of discipline must be to teach our child to see the Naija of this action when he makes
some mistake. The mistake that most of us, who are struggling without being able to teach
discipline to their child, is that we act in the direction of “do what I say, do not do what I do”. 3
adequate (correct) methods in achieving discipline: correct language, correct movement, correct
opportunity.
What should be the correct language?
1. Don't tell a child anything that can't be said to an older person! The child is the weakest, the
person in need of help does not mean that it is possible to shout freely at the child, to say what
he wants. He also understands, is upset, ashamed. For this reason, it is not necessary to say to a
child anything that cannot be said to a large person. “ When do you sit like a man?” “ Miss the
door, were you born in a cave?” “ Go, wash your dirty hands!” Such talk is far from respect.
When a mother speaks with her child in such a correct language style, the child also begins to
call people around him in social life who speak only in the right way with him.
2. Don't use the adult tone on your child either! The pressure with which the mother speaks to
her child in a tone does not affect the mental state of the child. Okay, how to talk in it? For
example, “the glass broke, but there is no problem my son! Did you not do anything? You may
have been terrified. I know that using words like” you didn't break deliberately " and speaking
correctly to Ohan will strengthen trust ties with the child.
3. Tell the child what he does, not what he does not do! When the child is said to “do not” to be
disciplined, his mind begins to focus on the “Do” Part, negating the “ma” suffix, and become
more undisciplined. The mother says” don't " while the child does. Telling what the child is
waiting for, what we want will give an effective result. For example, saying “Hit Your brother”
instead of saying "Hit the pillow when you get angry" will make things much easier.
4. Offer the child instead of the command. Giving orders creates a pressurized path between
mother-child. The child feels the pressure exerted on him and resists by saying, even if there is
only one word for his own benefit. This is the reason why when mothers give orders to their
children, children are stubborn, opposed, unable to hear or do it with leg strain resistance. For
example, “turn off the TV, don't you see that saot was nechchi, sleep there!“instead of saying”
after five minutes, we turn off the TV and go to bed, time has become allamahal", talking like
mother-child improves the relationship.
What should be the right action?
INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE
ISSN: 2692-5206, Impact Factor: 12,23
American Academic publishers, volume 05, issue 06,2025
Journal:
https://www.academicpublishers.org/journals/index.php/ijai
page 176
-To challenge the child not his behavior. For example, “stupid, I didn't have a carefree child
like you!"to say is to target the child personally, not to collect the room. Such judgments touch
the child's self-esteem and damage his contacts with the mother. Instead, the following jumalalr
can be said: “It's time to gather! I'll give you five minutes” ”You haven't put your room together
and it's making me angry" “If you don't collect your room, you can press and break the toys on
Earth”
- It is necessary to focus not on action, but on intention. No matter how negative the actions of
children at the time before adolescence may seem, their intentions are gloomy and pure. For
example, the child wanted to use a broom like his mother and was sweeping her by pouring
sand on the ground, at which point the mother came and shouted at him “you're gonna dust the
cabbage!”. The goal of the boy was not to dust the lands. This is a much milder situation when
the mother here focuses her attention on the child's interest, assuming that “ when my child is
playing with interest”. - It is necessary to hug a lot with the child. Hugging is the cause of the
appearance of oxytocin in the div. This Harmon has a huge impact on the human div, an
example of which is when an ava child becomes attached to each other. Another name for this
Garmon is “Garmon of happiness”, that is, it causes a feeling of happiness both in the child and
in the mother. According to a Harvard University study, children who grew up with loving
parents as children are happier in adulthood, have higher self-confidence, and are mentally
stable [1].
When should the right moment be?
- In times of crisis, it is necessary not to explain the action, but to understand its feelings. No
matter how much the mother tries to explain the situation during the crisis, the child in the crisis
does not understand and does not want to understand it either. Instead, it is necessary to try to
understand the child.
- It is necessary to know the value of the time before and after sleep. These two times are the
moment to establish emotional contact with the child. "Go in and sleep faster!", “Do you need
to fall asleep, get up faster!"instead of saying, Having a beautiful relationship at these two
important times will bring a good result.
- Turning a moody moment into high-mood stories also gives a good result. For example, the
mother and child played together, their moods chog’, that is when the mother speaks her
exhortations to the child, which has a good effect on the child's discipline [2]. In conclusion,
These 3 different methods are the right language, the right action and the right time that form
the basis of an adequate relationship. In order to be able to easily use these three methods, the
mother must work on herself, increase her vocabulary and achieve spiritual peace of mind.
Literatures:
1.Elemental.medium.com / Alison Escalante. Why showing love to kids . 12.03.2020
2. Hadiča Kubro Tongar. Mothers who don't shout: text.- Tashkent: generation of the new
century, 2021. – 240 p
3.Now.uiowa.edu. parental bonding= happy, stable child. October 11, 2012. Written by Richard
C. Levis
